Today’s post is a bit different which is fine since this is my blog. I had yet to write the post about our big finale in the Colorado mountains…the big hike!  In the time since, I had been assigned an English paper and decided to write about it in that format.  Today, I got that paper back with a big old 95 grade!  YAY!  So now it is time to share that experience with you.  No need for further explanations…the writing should be sufficient.

Once Upon A Dream

As I begin to awake, I know immediately I am not in my bed on this morning.  It is cold and in fact, sometime during the night, two blankets were laid across me.  In the haze of sleep I scoot closer to my husband lying next to me, seeking his warm body to cuddle.  His warmth feels safe as he wraps his arms around me tightly.

“Good morning, my sweet,” he whispers in my ear.

“Good morning, Rick, and guess what?” I exclaimed.  “This is the day!

“Yes, my sweet; this is indeed the day.”

We had slept with the window open, as is our custom when we have vacationed in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.  Our cabin, The Pea-Eye, is familiar, as we have stayed in it four different seasons now.  August has turned out to be a lovely time to visit, for the nights are cool, but the days warm to near perfect temperatures.

“You go get a shower while I fix breakfast.  Hurry up!  We have a mountain to climb!” Rick exclaimed.

As the hot water beat down on my back, I allowed my mind to drift and remember those days of past, the loneliness, the depression, the fear to hope, the fear not to hope.   Illness had zapped much of our energies the past 16 years, but those energies were being regained.  The strength of character, the hopes of dreams, the determination of the spirit, those are the things illness can give to you.  But, we had to fight hard for them, many times losing before we could gain.  That there was a time so near in the past that pain was my daily enemy and to walk from one end of the room to the other was my daily goal is surreal.  That I was once so weak and vulnerable drives my ambitions today, that and the dare to dream.

Cinderella has always been my favorite fairy–tale of them all!  What little girl wasn’t captivated by all the romance and beauty?  I can still sing most of the songs today by memory, but there is one in  particular that I have kept in my heart for these past 16 years now and it goes like this:

A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep.

In dreams you lose your heartaches whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grieving if you keep on believing

the dream that you wish will come true.

Apparently my shower singing isn’t as appreciated as I would like to think, as I hear Rick yell from the kitchen, “Cinderella, I’m ready to start your eggs!”

“Give me 5 minutes,” I reply.

I’ll be the first one to say that, actually, the dream you wish doesn’t always come true.  However…“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…” It is these words that I have held on to for these many years.

A single mom with three children finds the love of her life who then marries her and her three children. They are madly in love and plan a life together.  That was my fairy-tale come true.  And then, life happened.  I became very ill.  Two back surgeries, neck surgery, even my elbows; throw in severe depression and pain and in a wheelchair for much of the time for two years; walking canes, braces, and financial ruin don’t make for a good fairy tale. It was a very long 16 years.

Before illness occurred, I loved my career of nursing!  My dream had always been to further my education from a licensed vocational nurse to a registered nurse and possibly beyond.  It was devastating to me that all those dreams could vanish.

Rick was and continues to be my greatest supporter.  He never gave up on me.  When I gave up on hope, he gave more, so much so that in the times when he became weak, I was able to be strong for him. But even more than our love, strength, and hope for and in each other was our faith in God.  He was and will always be our main source of strength.

As the years passed and slow healing times began and vacations were again possible, it was always to Colorado we went.  Rick loves nature and especially so in the mountains.  As he would ready himself for his hike, he would always tell me that one day I would go with him.  I would smile, afraid to believe it, but always hoping. “Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

“Eggs are ready; let’s eat!”  Rick yelled.

As we sat together for breakfast on the porch of the cabin, enjoying the view of the mountain ranges, we were silent, both lost in our own thoughts.  Even though I was sitting there with that mountain so obvious before me, I was having a hard time believing that I was actually going to climb it!

It had been such a long and difficult road we had traveled.  Illness is just hard on a family.  We had been waiting a long time to turn a page in our lives.  Seems we had been taking one step forward and three backwards for an eternity now.  But, the day had finally come.  I had been working very hard; once I was able I got myself back in shape with various therapies, exercise routines, and special diets.  Today is the day my dreams begin to come true, I thought, as a hummingbird buzzed around the feeder that hung from the covered porch.

“Tell me what you are so deep in thought about,” Rick said.

“I just have a lot of emotions running rampant right now, excitement, disbelief, uncertainty, fear.  I can’t go back to where I just came from; I can’t get sick again; I won’t.  Can I go forth to conquer the mountain; am I strong enough?  I want this, but the uncertainty is frightening to me.”

He simply reached out to me with his hand, held me close, and said, “You’ve climbed many mountains now, Tracie, ones much harder than you face today.  This mountain is in celebration.  You’ve got this!  Let’s get our packs ready.  We’ve got a dream to go live.”

The plan was to drive to the top of Wolf Creek Pass where the Continental Divide is and meet up with Keith, an old friend who now lived in the area.   Keith was familiar with the trail we would be hiking and would act as our guide. As we met up and exchanged hugs and “well-to-do’s,” Keith explained the trail to us.

“We’ll be starting off around 12,000 feet and decline to roughly 11,000 feet, maybe a little less.  Some of the trail will be level, but most of the time we will either be climbing or descending.  We will go as far as you feel you can go, but, remember, you have to save energy for the return trip.”

Dressed in our hiking attire, complete with boots and walking sticks, hats, sunglasses, and loaded backpacks, we set off first through a grove of trees standing tall as to obscure the vastness beyond them.  As we came out from under them, we looked up to see the first of many types of scenery that would literally take our breath away.   The mountains sprawl across the valley floors, so majestic with their peaks folding one into another.  The clouds provided shadows that moved over the mountains, displaying a variety of colors, deep and rich.  I had never seen so many wildflowers in one place, grown large and vibrant in their yellow, red, orange, and purple colors.  It was as if someone had been caring for them; they were so perfect, yet untouched by human hand.  The scene demanded attention as we all stood there just amazed at its perfection, breathing in the freshness of the pine scented air.  My senses came alive as the deafening silence was interrupted by the bugling of the elk that stood grandly in the distance.  I could see the trail stretching far, winding up and down the mountain side and then it would disappear, yet continue on unseen. “I’ve traveled many an unseen trail such as this,” I thought.

With the toast of the sun on our skin and the freshness of the mountain breezes, we hiked for several miles on the winding, changing trail.  The scenery changed often, always stunning in its beauty.  It was at one such point that my fear began to rise within me.  The trail had changed and was about to get very steep.  I have a great fear of heights, and this part of the trail was slippery with rock debris.  Rick and Keith were deep in conversation, catching up on old times.  I was trailing behind them, so if I were to slip, I wouldn’t have Rick’s hand.  I didn’t want to bring attention to my fear, so I tackled it alone.  I was wishing I had a blinder, like they put on horses, so I couldn’t see the steep slope just inches from my boot.  It was obvious we were hiking across a rock slide.  Even though I had been training for this very day, my legs were still not as strong as I would like.  I felt a little nauseous and dizzy as I looked across the trail I had to travel to get to the safety of solid ground.

I think we imagine a lot of our fears, making them worse probably.  The steep rock-slide area was really very short.  Rick and Keith walked over it like it was nothing in a matter of just a few seconds, as they continued to share old memories. I stopped, assessed the danger before me and panicked, causing my fear to grow and imagined it to be more than it really was.  But to me, it was real.

I moved my walking stick to the left hand, as the slope was on the left side.  I carefully planted each step, feeling my way for anything that wasn’t solid and for that which was.  My heart pounded in my chest as I attempted to keep the fear at bay.  My steps were very calculated, all the while being very aware that Rick and Keith were increasing the gap between us.  My mind fought with itself, “what if’s” coming from every direction, trying to force out the fear of falling.  I remained focused with one step in front of the other, sure and solid. But, as with life, a misstep happens and that all consuming feeling of fear and danger encapsulates the entire body and mind as I slip onto my butt.  This disturbance causes Rick and Keith to stop, turn around and ask, “Are you okay?”

As I mutter to myself, “No damnit, you’ve left me by myself, and I’m scared to death and why aren’t you paying attention to my fear?” I found myself saying, “I’m okay!”

I did reach the other side of the sloped, death defying rock slide, but very aware that I would have to face it again on the way back.  I would meet that obstacle later; I had many more challenges ahead.

Coming from a time in my life of complete helplessness, weakness, vulnerability and failure to the various challenges the mountain hike gave, boosted my confidence and character strength that I was needing to continue forward with dreams yet unfulfilled.  I would soon be starting college at the age of 49 and was uneasy of the challenges ahead.  But, at this moment, with each step made, I conquered more of my fear and doubt.

We were looking for a flat area where we could sit and rest our weary bodies and enjoy our lunch.  We had hiked far into the mountain so as to have only steep sides and cliffs surrounding us.  We continued walking, knowing at some point we would find the perfect place to stop and ingest the sights and the food.  The views were so incredible that with each corner turned, a more majestic sight enveloped us, making it hard to quit exploring.  We each found ourselves repeating the words, “Just a little further.”  “Let’s see what’s on the other side.”

As we rounded what would become the last corner, I saw it.  Just above our trail was a flattened area that cascaded high above and over a cliff.  It was perfect, but the climb up was very abrupt, and the trail below was very narrow with another of those slippery, falls to my death, rock slides.  Something inside me wanted to make that climb.  I needed to conquer it.

“This is it,” I said.  “Let’s climb up there and have lunch; the view is perfect.”

The guys looked at me like I was crazy, and I felt inside that the high altitude must have gotten to my better senses because this was a very steep climb.  What was I thinking?  Keith went up first.  He wanted to scout out the area making sure it was attainable.  I would go next, with Rick behind me, as if he could actually catch me.  I think he figured that if we fell, we would die together; que sera sera!

I just want to say right now that there is no shame in hugging the side of a mountain in order to save your life!  I used every little tree, grass blade, and stone I could find to make it to the top of that cliff.  I literally hugged the ground with my body in the steepness of the climb thinking all the while, “don’t look down!”  I was scared to death that at any moment I would lose my grip and plummet to the mountain valleys below.  But, when I did finally reach the top, ungraceful as I was in doing so, I was able to look my mate in the eyes with a smile that only he could comprehend.  He gave me a high knuckle five, as is our custom.  Elation was the feeling of the moment as we celebrated with a feast for kings and queens.   Fresh strawberries, grapes, apples, hard boiled eggs, and tuna was our banquet.  I’ve never had a more exquisite meal!

At that victorious moment, Keith felt it best to point out that we were actually dining on a perch that was the perfect place for a mountain Lion to hunt his prey.  Men, they are so funny and have an uncanny way of eliciting the fear of a woman!  But at this moment, I had overcome fears and I wasn’t about to entertain any more!  First I had to worry over how to get off the mountain Lion perch.  Of course, that is what butts are for!

On the trek back, I had a feeling of victory within me!  I had my fears in control, and I felt the need to express my elation in song.  In experiencing the full magnitude of God’s glorious creation, there was but one song appropriate, “How Great Thou Art”.

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works Thy Hand hath made,

I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,

Thy pow’r throughout the universe displayed;

…When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze;

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

We had seen the awesome wonder, heard the majestic thunder that echoed through the mountains; we felt the wet coolness of the mountain brook and discovered a greatness that was far beyond ourselves.  The mountains, they fill me with a magic that none can touch, I love them so.  They elicit my fear, but help me to conquer them.  They fulfill my dreams in ways I cannot fully explain.

Are you wondering how I made it back across the steep rocky slide or do you already know?  Yes, my fears engaged, but this time I was able to abate them.  This time, I asked for help and with Keith in front of me, and Rick behind me, I took control of my fear and walked slowly across the slippery slope.

My next adventure is now upon me as I begin that long awaited for dream of becoming a registered nurse.  I look forward to the challenge with confidence and hope!

…”Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

Weminuche Wilderness Rio Grande National Forest

Sunday morning (2nd day of vacation) we awoke to temps in the upper 50′s, surrounded by the Sacramento Mountains.  Before breakfast was to be served, we decided on another hike and found the perfect place for worship!

Chapel In The Sky

The time we spent here at this place, with the cross before us, the mountains framing it…very special indeed!  No words need to be spoken, no songs need to be sung for Rick and I were tuned with God in heart, mind and spirit.  Listening to the quiet and beauty of His creation was the kind of worship God had asked for.  We eagerly heard every ‘word’ God had to say that morning.

Being at the Methodist Camp for the start of our vacation was a God thing!  It was the most perfect 24 hours to begin a new chapter in our lives.  Taking the time out to listen to God’s direction is always a good idea!

We had been waiting a long time to turn a page in our lives.  Seems we had been taking one step forward and 3 backwards for an eternity.  Illness does that to a family, as many of you know.  It is a hard thing for me to speak about, that I was once so weak and vulnerable; but I will do so in order to give others strength and hope.

Cinderella has always been my favorite fairy-tale of them all!  What little girl wasn’t captivated by all the romance and beauty? I can still sing most of the songs today by memory, but there is one in particular that I have kept in my heart for about 16 years now.  It goes like this…

A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you’re fast asleep

In dreams you lose your heartaches
whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving
if you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

I’ll be the first one to say that, actually, the dream you wish doesn’t always come true.  However…“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…” It is these words that I have held on to for these many years.

A single mom with 3 children, finds the love of her life, who then marries her and her 3 children…they are madly in love and plan a life together…that was my fairy tale come true.  And then life happens.  I became very ill with fibromyalgia.  2 back sugeries, neck surgery, severe depression, severe pain, in a wheelchair for much of the time x 2 years, walking canes, braces and financial ruin, doesn’t make for a good fairy tale. It was a very long 16 years.  And that is the very short version.

Before illness occurred, I loved my career of nursing!  My plans had always been to further my education to become a registered nurse and possibly beyond.  It was devastating to me that all those dreams could vanish.

My greatest supporter was my husband who never gave up on me.  When I gave up on hope…he gave more…so much so that in the times when he became weak, I was able to be strong for him.  But even more than our love and strength and hope for and in each other was our faith that, no matter what, GOD.

As the years passed and slow healing times began, and vacations were again possible, it was always to Colorado we went.

Rick loves nature and especially so in the mountains.  As he would ready himself for his hike, he would always tell me that one day I would go with him.  I would smile, afraid to believe it, but always hoping.

“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

And so now you understand a little bit of why this past vacation was such a huge event for us.  It was truly a page turner in our life…actually more like a chapter or two or three!

I have been “training”, so to speak, for life again for about 2 years now.  Once I got to a stage of strength again, and discovered some other healing “activities”, I knew it was time.  I could do this now!  I began with my diet and expanded into gaining physical strength and stamina.

It all has been very surreal, realizing that at one time, just to live through one day was a struggle, and now…I’m hiking mountains and asking, “what’s next?”

I can’t leave this post without trying to express what it meant to me to take that first hike with Rick.  There really aren’t words enough to describe those emotions but well…

I felt like a little child experiencing the different kinds of grass, the beautiful wild flowers, the dirt,  the bees and yes even the flies!  Oh and the hummingbirds!  They sound so different in the mountains!  I was God’s child and He was showing me all that I had missed…it was like He had me by the hand, experiencing it all with me.   I was afraid and yet I couldn’t stop, I had to keep climbing as high as I could go and then…can we go higher…further?  And when the rain would fall and the thunder rolls through the mountains…oh my!  It makes one tingle!  My legs would get so tired but I was afraid to stop.  I don’t ever want to go back to where I was; you understand?  But if I do…

“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

Keep the faith!

Tracie

P.S. For my fellow fibromyalgia sufferers, I will soon post about how I was able to overcome.  Don’t give up hope!

Everything is in movement.  My simple understanding of Albert Einstein’s relativity is that all things in creation are moving relative to everything else.  In other words nothing is sitting still.  If this is part of God’s basic creative design then why would the human spirit be still when all around the universe is in motion?  It reminds me of stagnant water that becomes toxic with time and loses its life giving quality.  In his book Simple Steps Dr. Caliandro quotes Oliver Wendell Holmes,

“One thing I’ve found out about this life is this.  It’s not so much where we stand, but in what direction we’re moving.”’

If the human spirit is not moving forward then it’s moving backward.

We were created with the need to keep moving.  Physicians encourage their patients to begin physical therapy soon after operations.  In the past, extended bed rest was recommended.  Now, too much lying in bed is considered harmful to the body’s recovery. The same can be said for the human soul.  God’s prescription for healing and redeeming humanity is first to mend our separation with our Creator.  This has and continues to be done in the Lord’s act in Jesus Christ.  The sacrificial love of God has opened the way for humanity to regain the relationship with our maker which our self centered living and choices has severed.  This is movement from spiritual death to life.  Yet, there is more!  Like any relationship the human and Divine must continue to grow in depth and affection.  This is often referred to as sanctification.

The continued growth of the human spirit in this life is a major part of the United Methodist belief system.   The soul who chooses not to move forward and journey with God will not change and mature into the being God desires us to become.  The goal is perfection in love towards God and others.  We can’t claim to ever reach this lofty state.  Instead we observe and enjoy the changing of our soul as we journey forth.  This is walking with God.  It is hope based faith over earthly facts.  It is faith searching to understand a confusing world.  It is love in spite of the hate and evil that surrounds us.  God has a goal for us and it is good.

The same spiritual need to move within an individual is also in operation within a religious organization.  The body withers if it cannot move. The spirit ceases to live out its potential if it stands still in self satisfaction. And the church dies when it is no longer the living, moving Body of Christ.

Sometimes we criticize the denominational divide which exists within the Body of Christ.  I know folks who consider the denominations to be some part of an evil plot against Christ’s Church.  They may condemn the dogmas (teaching) of the denominations as somehow anti-scripture and un-Christian.  The same time they insist they have the only way of understanding scripture and our Lord our God.  This is of course dogma!  Within their dogma those who do not agree with them are false teachers and heretics.  They work to use guilt and fear to undermine the devout worship of those they do not understand.  This work against fellow Christians is sadly done in the name of the God who was crucified by hate, yet forgave his enemies from the executioners cross.

It is my observation that those who cry out about the imperfections of others are most convinced they have few.  Those that they do admit to are forgiven and not nearly as offensive to God as Christians who experience or worship our Lord in a different manner.  In such a case, self-preservation can become the purpose for a church’s existence. Self-preservation is a threat to all congregations.  In such a case the energy of the people can focus on themselves instead of God or Christ’s kingdom on earth.  At this point are we working towards our own short range desires or our Creators long range goal for humanity?  We must exist for a purpose.  From John’s gospel we read:

“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” 3:17 NRSV

In the same way the church is not here to condemn the world.  Judgment belongs to God and God alone.  The church is to bring the light and love of God through Jesus Christ.  We are not to bring the darkness of hate which is the child of Evil.   Instead we have the honor to bring the healing of God in Jesus the Christ.

Sometimes we forget the purpose of the church.  The Christian people are to serve God over self.  When personal or community goals line up with that of God’s then all are blessed.  When we do God’s work the individual benefits as well as the Lords’ kingdom.  Imagine what we can do when our energy and desire join that of God’s!  The people grow and they truly live.

Like Christ our Lord, the church is to be a sanctuary of safety and healing for the world.  Imagine with words from the book of Revelation God’s desire for creation:

“…the river of the water of life, bright as crystal flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city.  On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month; and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.”  22:1-2 NRSV

As Christ is the source of rejuvenating life for the world, surly we can be the simple leaves for the healing of the nations by the power of God!

May the peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you!

Rick

In my last writing, Share the Love, it was Ash Wednesday and I ‘charged’ myself with a challenge.

So this is my charge.  For this time of Lent I will find ways, in all of my encounters, to share the love.  I will be very intentional in my actions and my thoughts.  When I begin to have negative thoughts, thoughts of anger or wrath, I will stop and remember the greatest commandment.  I want to be like Him, and this is how I know my Lord…through His love.

Today is Maundy Thursday.  I am reflecting on my time of Lent asking myself…”How have I done?”  Always, I think, I could do better.  But I did well in many areas, not as I would of wanted in others.  But here is what I am taking with me from this experience, from this time of setting aside for the purpose of bettering my Christian walk.

“Jesus love” is so VERY GOOD in every way!  I have never felt better emotionally, spiritually, physically, as I have these past days when all my thoughts and energies were focused on how to love another.  Each day I found that what I received back was the real gift.  Jesus knew this!  Jesus knew that if we could just figure out that to love another, the Jesus way, was to love yourself too.  And that is how we follow His commandment,

“The most important commandment is this: …Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind, and all your strength.  The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.  No other commandment is greater than these.”

To love ‘the Jesus way’, has become my drug.  I cannot give and receive enough of it!

Tonight, our church will celebrate with each other and our Lord, the Last Supper.  Just as Jesus did with His disciples on that Maundy Thursday so many years ago.  It was on that night that Jesus had this conversation with Peter,

Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.  But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail.  So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.  Peter said, Lord I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.  But Jesus said, Peter, let me tell you something.  Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.  Luke 22:31-34 NLT

We are no different.  We think we do so good, we run a list through our minds of all the good we have done, we make promises to our Lord, we break them.  I think the hardest part for me is the omissions.  All of the times I could’ve, but didn’t.  I think those times of denying Christ are just as harmful as the times when we simply become weak in our temptations.  What are your omissions?  Do you know?  Failing to talk with Him throughout your day, perhaps?  Failing in developing your relationship with Him, maybe?  You can correct them.  And the best news is this…

But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail.  So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.

Jesus pleads for us, Jesus prays for us as we go through our day, that when we fail Him, we will turn and repent and help our brothers.  Wow!  Isn’t He amazing!

I pray your Easter will be fruitful in your life and in the lives of others!

God Bless!

Tracie

“Be the change you want to see in the world”  Ghandi

 

Ash Wednesday is a day of repentance and it marks the beginning of Lent.

Lent in the Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. Lent is a time of sacrifice for Jesus. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

(source-wikipedia)

I have made it my custom to spend this day before Ash Wednesday, in contemplation.  I have typically, spent much time in prayer in the days and weeks prior so by the time this day before Ash Wednesday comes, I can honestly choose that part of me that I will give.

I have one particular thought that keeps coming to my mind.  Share the love.

I completely understand and respect the idea of giving up something for the time of Lent.  I agree with it.  However, I have found a discipline that works best for me.  It is just my own way of giving up for Jesus, of preparing my soul for a new life, one that comes after resurrection.  So it has become my habit to choose a particular character that is “un-Christ-like” and work to rid myself of it.  In these past few years I have been able to give up bitterness and selfishness (not that I don’t have those moments).  I have been able to practice an attitude of forgiveness as I reach forward to the ways of Christ.

If you are a friend of my facebook you will know that I have been very forward with the thoughts of “sharing the love”, these past couple of weeks.  God has been talking to me and I’m trying my best to listen.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.  Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”  John 13.34-35 NLT

So this is my charge.  For this time of Lent I will find ways, in all of my encounters, to share the love.  I will be very intentional in my actions and my thoughts.  When I begin to have negative thoughts, thoughts of anger or wrath, I will stop and remember the greatest commandment.  I want to be like Him, and this is how I know my Lord…through His love.

“The most important commandment is this: …Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind, and all your strength.  The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.  No other commandment is greater than these.”

Love your neighbor as yourself…these words I will be praying over heavily.

May your Lenten Season be productive!

Tracie

I had a fantastic time this past weekend at the annual Clergy Spouses Retreat at Lake Texoma.  The Prothro Center is fabulous!  Our speaker on Saturday was the Reverend Cammy Gaston.  We all thoroughly enjoyed her and the message she brought to us.  I wanted to share with you part of an exercise she had us do.  Her message came from 1Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Reverend Gaston gave us each a piece of paper with this verse printed, but left blank spots where we had to insert our own names into each blank, then we had to read them aloud to a partner.  So it goes like this…

_________ is patient, ______is kind.  ______is not jealous ______is not boastful ______is not proud ______is not rude.  ______does not demand her/his own way.  ______ is not irritable. ______keeps no record of being wronged. ______does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  ______never gives up, ______never loses faith, ______is always hopeful and ______endures through every circumstance.

My first thought when asked to do this exercise was that I couldn’t pen my name in the blanks because it didn’t feel honest to do so and secondly, when asked to read it to my partner, well, it hurt deep inside. We each had to do some soul searching.  I encourage you to do this exercise and you might even consider keeping it handy to look at often as I have been doing since my return home.

As we strive to grow to become Christ like in our actions, thoughts, in our lives in general, I do believe our greatest stumbling block would be that of loving as Christ did love.  Love is the single greatest expression of Christ, the mark of a true follower of Jesus; love “binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Col 3:14) Love is the principal ethical manifestation of Christian faith, the primary fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22) and one of the most important motivations for ministry.  The most important thing for believers to value and seek is to become a faithfully loving person.

It is not in my nature to be hateful; I don’t carry grudges, or wish any wrong upon a person.  I am a very forgiving person, knowing that I need forgiveness also.  I generally find that relationships are easy for me, I like people, they like me.  That makes love easy, so to speak.  But don’t you know it, that there will be that one person that comes around every so often and is determined to make love hard.  It is then that I find myself clinging mightily to Christ.  Not such a bad thing, huh?  Maybe we need those nemeses in our lives to make us stronger, to force us to cling more mightily to the cloaks of the Lord.

It’s all about choices, isn’t it?  We can choose to be patient, choose to be kind, choose not to be jealous, choose not to be boastful, choose not to be proud, choose not to be rude, choose not to demand our own way, choose not to be irritable, choose not to keep record of being wronged, choose not to rejoice about injustice, choose to never give up, never lose faith, always remain hopeful and choose to endure through every circumstance.

I pray for “attitudes of choice”.  May we cling mightily to His cloak, gathering comfort from His love, from our fellowship together in His Spirit.  May our hearts be tender and compassionate, working together with one mind and purpose.  May we not be selfish, be humble and look for the interests of another.  May we have the same attitude as Christ Jesus had.

“Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.  Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.  When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.  Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. “ (Phil.2:6-11)

Amen.

Tomorrow is a grande and exciting day for our families.  Our 5th grandgirl will make her debut!  God is so great and we are a very blessed people.  The abundance of creation, of God’s gifts, of love, truly overwhelmes me.  Stay tuned for pictures!

It’s the Lenten season now, ushered in last week with Ash Wednesday.  We had a worship service where we were given the opportunity to examine the self, rid the self of sin, and if chosen you could write something in particular on a piece of paper to be burned in the service.  It is a common practice and one we have done for several years.  This one, however, was a bit different; much more heated so to speak.

Apparently some broken glass was left in the pot.  Apparently broken glass crackles loudly and gets very hot when set afire.  The very calm, cool, collected Pastor decides he should sprinkle the glass with water rather than just dousing it, in order for the heat to cool less abruptly.  Each time the fire was sprinkled, it flamed high!  The children would ‘eww and ahh’.  It began to feel more like a magic trick than a worship service.  The fire was soon doused, however, and all was well.

If you put your mind to it you can come up with some good analogies.  The very sinful man causing the fire to flame more, the baptismal waters destroying them, the flames reaching higher as in Satan not letting go.  It was a serious, somewhat humorous but meaningful time.

The last few Lenten seasons I have strayed from the norm a bit by looking more for something positive to implement in my daily Christian life rather than looking for sin to rid.  This year I have chosen to act upon the random acts of kindness i wrote about not long ago.  My daughter told me that I already did that all the time.  While I appreciate the compliment, I don’t really feel that way about myself.  I want to be more intentional and I want it to become a habit, a part of me, an extension of my love for another and love for my Lord.

We also began a Lenten study written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  It is more of a spiritual journey than a study.  I’m enjoying it and plan to share some of my thoughts about it in the days to come.  I will also share a few of my random acts of kindness to hopefully spur ideas for you too!

Until next time…

God Bless

By looking at the Christ we have our best opportunity to understand life, love, tragedy, and redemption.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
- Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, one of the greatest human minds at unlocking the mysteries of creation understood the power and beauty of that which is beyond our grasp of understanding.  Maybe it was the beauty of it that kept him thinking and dreaming about the unknown and the keys that unlock the doors of understanding, one at a time.

God is the greatest of all mysteries.  This is why faith is so difficult to understand for those without its comfort.  They cannot own it, or create it with their rules;  it is Grace and this is one blessing we cannot control or enforce.  It must be
accepted then set free to bless all others.  The minute we tie it down, it is dead, ceases to exist within the borders of our laws.  If we deny others are worthy then we have killed it within our breast.  For Grace comes from the very breath of God, and as Jesus said “we cannot tell which way it will blow.”  Nor is it for us to decide.  Thank God, otherwise we would all be damned by someone!

Seriously, thank God and enjoy the mysterious Grace given to us by our Lord, the Christ.

RD

The other day I was inside my granddaughters school waiting for the bell to ring, and I noticed a small poster from an organization called Acts of Kindness, with its purpose being to promote random acts of kindness.  Next to the poster was a very large chalk board where the children wrote about their random acts.  I love this idea!

As I read through some of the articles on the website I realized the entire site was geared for educators and students with ideas for teachers to promote kindness.  There are many resources available.

An article on the site spoke about the health benefits of kindness, both physical and mental.

“Helping contributes to the maintenance of good health, and it can diminish the effect of diseases and disorders serious and minor, psychological and physical.

A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act is often referred to as a “helper’s high,” involving physical sensations and the release of the body’s natural painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.”

I recommend taking a few minutes to read the article.

I live in a small town where random acts of kindness still occur.  Just yesterday a friend stopped by just to give me some company.  (i’m presently healing from surgery)  It was 20 minutes out of her day and made us both feel good.  It’s not unusual to get a phone call ‘just because’, or a plate of cookies, even a chocolate pie!  Last year a lady brought by a handful of children’s movies thinking it might be of some help to us as we found ourselves with grandchildren for an extended period of time.  And just 2 weeks ago a friend came by with a beautiful gift that still brings me so much joy.  She took the time to find and purchase a small pillow, then sewed 2 different pillow cases for it so when one got dirty i simply had to take off the other.

I wonder if we are born with kindness or is it something to be attained and maybe learned?

Galatians 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control.

Colossians 3:12  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

2 Peter 1:3-9   ³His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ⁴Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

⁵For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. ⁸For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

After reading these scriptures I tend to want to believe that kindness is something to be attained and learned and given.

To be kind is to love.  To be kind is a quality; it is a fruit of the Spirit and something we are to clothe ourselves in.  So it takes effort, thought, desire to be so.  And it is something God has, is divine in nature and He is willing to give to us.

You’ve probably heard the story of the man who got out of bed in the morning, something happened to cause him to be angry and he carried that anger through out the day, spewing it upon each person he encountered who then did the same and so the anger affected many people, even ones he didn’t know.  So then all we have to do is replace the anger with kindness.

I think it is easier to spread  anger than it is to spread kindness.  Kindness takes thought and effort.

I’m going to pray for kindness; Godly kindness that involves love, affection, sacrifice.  And as I do I will thank God for the kindest act of all, giving His Son so that I may too know loving kindness.