When I began this Lenten Journey I offered a prayer given by Henry Nouwen.  In it he states, “I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me.  The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.  I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions.  There are no times or places without choices.  And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.”

I have been keenly aware of these words, keeping them at the forefront of my mind as I encounter the world on a daily basis.  Sometimes that world can be very hateful, spewing unnecessary demeaning words, taking actions meant on division and destruction.   We are such a divided people, in religious attitudes, political views, and so many other ways.  I tolerate political hatred and division but I don’t like it.  I feel I have no other choice but to tolerate, else I would spew my own anger which would not help matters.  But when it comes to the matters of Christian attitudes and actions, I cannot simply tolerate for to me it is my very life, my existence in every meaning of the word.  To choose words that are His words, thoughts that are His thoughts and actions that are His actions, requires of me, a dedicated prayer life.  I am not always successful.

These past weeks have been a struggle for me as I have encountered a heavier dose of adversity and I find my desire to choose “thoughts that are His thoughts” quite the challenge.  I have found my actions and words easier to control.  But I do not like that my thoughts have “a mind of their own”.

Through prayer I have been getting a sense of the direction I should be going.  Stepping over resentment is oh so difficult and is my greatest struggle at this time.  But if I am to continue on this journey, to continue to grow toward sanctification and to obey Christ, to be like Him, I must defeat this foe.

As Christ was enduring the mocking, the beatings, the long walk to Golgotha with the added burden of the weighted cross, (until lifted by Simon) what were His thoughts?  We know He humbled Himself; He did not strike back with words or actions.  What were His thoughts?   Very few words are spoken by Jesus as He hung in unimaginable pain; these are the most powerful, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”  (Luke 23:34 NLT)

Forgiveness, then, is the answer?  Forgiveness even when the offender doesn’t seek it?  That would be Christ’s model.

Today I read from my devotional book these words from Henry Nouwen.  “God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking.  It is the divine forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life.  It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy, and impractical.  It challenges me to step over all my needs for gratitude and compliments.  Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive.    This stepping over is the authentic discipline of forgiveness.”

When I have asked God to allow me to lead a Christ-like life, I expect the hard road.  Christ’s actions and words were not that of society, his thoughts were not his own, but those of His father.  If my heart is true in its desire then I will take the hard road and I will do so on my knees no matter how wounded they become.

God loves you!

During this season of lent we are given the opportunity to experience something other than in our normal everyday lives; to experience something other than ourselves.  We are invited to give up a part of ourselves that we would otherwise be dependent upon, or to cling.  We are invited to experience the other possibilities in our self.  In that process (those 40 days) we begin to suffer over the loss of the familiar.  So often times it is much easier to continue clinging to old ways, to continue dependence on the familiar, to snuggle in the blanket of false security.

In the 10th chapter of the book of Mark, verses 17-22, we read of a man who wanted to experience something other than his self.

“Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good?  No one is good but God alone.  You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and mother.’”    He said to him, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.”  Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”  When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.”

Jesus, whom loved this man, offered him new life.  But the man first had to give up the part of him that was surely to stand in the way, and he couldn’t do it.  He could not give up what he already knew was not permanent, for what he sought was ETERNAL LIFE.  Did he choose instead to wait for another day, to wait for something else, another offer?  Did he think he could just continue day after day after day to live the familiar?  Did he not really believe in what Jesus offered him?  Maybe he just couldn’t comprehend what Jesus was offering?   The man left in grief and shock, turning his back to Jesus choosing other securities, the familiar. Read the rest of this entry

We complain about the cross we bare but don’t realize
it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can’t.

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain….
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God’s always ready, to answer your call….
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear…
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, dawn’s early light…
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love…

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

It can be a Rocky trip to get to the cross.   While recently staying in a Colorado cabin, I and a large friendly dog belonging to the camp managers decided to take a hike up the mountain trail where a cross was planted at the edge of one of the cliffs.  The dogs’ name is Rocky and he was both good at finding the trail and wondering off to check out the sights and smells.  I trusted the local mountain dog and to some degree my own ability to maintain a sense of direction.  The result is that we ventured further and further from our destination and deeper into the mountains.

The scenery was beautiful and inspirational.  The hike and climb also made for a good work out.   I say climb because following Rocky lead to some rather difficult routes through strenuous terrain.  The journey was beautiful, inspirational, and healthy; could a person ask for a better way to spend their limited time on earth?

But let’s not forget about my original destination, the cross.

As we wandered back and forth, first east then west with some north and south thrown in, we were what I would call searching but not lost.  This is because I knew basically where I was, I just could not get to where I wanted to be, which now was back home.

One thing about a mountain is that not only is it beautiful, and good to hike or climb, but it should be
respected with great care; because you can’t whip creation; mountain, desert, jungle, or ocean. Often you survive the journey, enjoy it and learn from the experience.

As the thirty minute hike turned into one hour, then two going on three, we traveled over ridges, down ravines through Aspen stands, meadows, and almost continuous rows of Ponderosa Pines.  I began to think this is a lot like life.

As I followed Rocky along a six inch wide trail with a rough ten to twenty foot express to the bottom, depending on which way you tumbled; I noticed the route seemed more suitable for the dog than a person. On the other hand he did tuck his tail, not a good sign; sometimes those we follow don’t really know what’s best for us or them!

At this point I knew it was time to stop just talking to the Lord and start giving up control to God to get me and Rocky back, preferable in one piece.

Often I began an adventure, or just the day, knowing what I want and what I think is best, yet the good and exciting things often side track me to the point that I only think I’m in control and know just exactly where I am.  My focus often ceases to be the Christ as I attempt to seize the day, Carpe Diem!  Of course “seizing the day” and focusing on Christ are not opposites.  In reality it is experiencing each day and moment with God that truly gives us the day and plenty of adventure to boot.

It’s beautiful, healthy, and fun, yet the majesty of the mountain, the trees and ridges, kept me from finding what I had set out for, the cross.  Just because something meets our understanding of good and pleasurable does not mean it is best for us, others, or in the proper prospective in regards to what we consider most important. I have found what we say is not nearly as important as what we do.

I eventually turned it over to God, deciding to head down the mountain based on some far away landmarks forsaking the beauty around me and concentrating on getting home.  It was only then that I found both Cross and home.  Do we listen to God or do we insist we know the way or follow someone else?

Rick

posted February 8, 2007

Rick and I teach a Disciple class on Wednesday evenings. Disciple Bible Study is a series of studies with the intent of making disciples. It is direct in its individual challenge to “take up your cross and follow me” It is changing lives, renewing the individual as well as the church as a whole. I firmly believe that if a person takes the study seriously, and it is taught appropriately, change will occur in the persons life. One cannot study the Word with a willing heart and not change; it is that powerful. The statistics of this particular study are amazing. Rick and I were students for several years before we became leaders of Disciple Bible Study. We have not missed a single year and God willing, we will continue to offer this course as long as He will allow us. I am a huge proponent of this particular study. It is one of two ‘tools’ that helped to guide me toward a changed life. The other is Emmaus. I’ll talk about it in another writing.

One of the things that is so amazing about studying the Word of God, is no matter how many times I’ve read a particular scripture or book, i always find something new when reading again. The Word is, after all, active, living and revealing only that which we can handle in a particular time of our life. I mention this because I have read Mark numerous times but it was only last night that i realized the significance of the crowds.

The crowds were made up of people who were oppressed, the poor, the lost, the lonely, the ones who needed hope. These crowds of people were so needful of their savior that He could hardly get away to eat. He would try to “escape” on a boat, but without success. The crowds were anxious to hear the Word. They needed it, desired it.

Where are the crowds today? Where are the people anxious to hear the Word of God? Where are the people who are anxious for the Savior? Are we not needy enough to be anxious? Have we involved ourselves so much in other activities that we are numb to our real need? Do we have so many things that satisfy us that we don’t feel the need for a Savior?

I fear the direction this world is heading. It doesn’t leave one with a good feeling. So much division, so much emphasis put on the SELF. That is our downfall. I pray for something better, i pray for change of hearts and I pray for God to help me get beyond the SELF.

I have a meeting to prepare for!
TTYL…Tracie