Sunday morning (2nd day of vacation) we awoke to temps in the upper 50′s, surrounded by the Sacramento Mountains.  Before breakfast was to be served, we decided on another hike and found the perfect place for worship!

Chapel In The Sky

The time we spent here at this place, with the cross before us, the mountains framing it…very special indeed!  No words need to be spoken, no songs need to be sung for Rick and I were tuned with God in heart, mind and spirit.  Listening to the quiet and beauty of His creation was the kind of worship God had asked for.  We eagerly heard every ‘word’ God had to say that morning.

Being at the Methodist Camp for the start of our vacation was a God thing!  It was the most perfect 24 hours to begin a new chapter in our lives.  Taking the time out to listen to God’s direction is always a good idea!

We had been waiting a long time to turn a page in our lives.  Seems we had been taking one step forward and 3 backwards for an eternity.  Illness does that to a family, as many of you know.  It is a hard thing for me to speak about, that I was once so weak and vulnerable; but I will do so in order to give others strength and hope.

Cinderella has always been my favorite fairy-tale of them all!  What little girl wasn’t captivated by all the romance and beauty? I can still sing most of the songs today by memory, but there is one in particular that I have kept in my heart for about 16 years now.  It goes like this…

A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you’re fast asleep

In dreams you lose your heartaches
whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving
if you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

I’ll be the first one to say that, actually, the dream you wish doesn’t always come true.  However…“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…” It is these words that I have held on to for these many years.

A single mom with 3 children, finds the love of her life, who then marries her and her 3 children…they are madly in love and plan a life together…that was my fairy tale come true.  And then life happens.  I became very ill with fibromyalgia.  2 back sugeries, neck surgery, severe depression, severe pain, in a wheelchair for much of the time x 2 years, walking canes, braces and financial ruin, doesn’t make for a good fairy tale. It was a very long 16 years.  And that is the very short version.

Before illness occurred, I loved my career of nursing!  My plans had always been to further my education to become a registered nurse and possibly beyond.  It was devastating to me that all those dreams could vanish.

My greatest supporter was my husband who never gave up on me.  When I gave up on hope…he gave more…so much so that in the times when he became weak, I was able to be strong for him.  But even more than our love and strength and hope for and in each other was our faith that, no matter what, GOD.

As the years passed and slow healing times began, and vacations were again possible, it was always to Colorado we went.

Rick loves nature and especially so in the mountains.  As he would ready himself for his hike, he would always tell me that one day I would go with him.  I would smile, afraid to believe it, but always hoping.

“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

And so now you understand a little bit of why this past vacation was such a huge event for us.  It was truly a page turner in our life…actually more like a chapter or two or three!

I have been “training”, so to speak, for life again for about 2 years now.  Once I got to a stage of strength again, and discovered some other healing “activities”, I knew it was time.  I could do this now!  I began with my diet and expanded into gaining physical strength and stamina.

It all has been very surreal, realizing that at one time, just to live through one day was a struggle, and now…I’m hiking mountains and asking, “what’s next?”

I can’t leave this post without trying to express what it meant to me to take that first hike with Rick.  There really aren’t words enough to describe those emotions but well…

I felt like a little child experiencing the different kinds of grass, the beautiful wild flowers, the dirt,  the bees and yes even the flies!  Oh and the hummingbirds!  They sound so different in the mountains!  I was God’s child and He was showing me all that I had missed…it was like He had me by the hand, experiencing it all with me.   I was afraid and yet I couldn’t stop, I had to keep climbing as high as I could go and then…can we go higher…further?  And when the rain would fall and the thunder rolls through the mountains…oh my!  It makes one tingle!  My legs would get so tired but I was afraid to stop.  I don’t ever want to go back to where I was; you understand?  But if I do…

“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”

Keep the faith!

Tracie

P.S. For my fellow fibromyalgia sufferers, I will soon post about how I was able to overcome.  Don’t give up hope!

It is so easy to get wrapped up in life and all it’s loudness…so easy that in one moment you slip into it and don’t even realize it.  The volume gets turned up, you adjust to it and it plays on and on…and then you forget how to turn down the volume!

Our first evening of vacation was spent in the Sacramento Mountains at the United Methodist Camp.  The director gives free restorative visits for Methodist clergy!

We left a record breaking Texas summer with highs near 110 and a drought to boot!  Texas is literally burning up, as are its residents!

As we drove into the mountain, the clouds appeared, dark and low.  The sound of thunder was thrilling, causing us to giggle together.  The very moment we drove into the camp and stepped out of our car, it began to rain.  It felt just as if God was welcoming us, restoring our dry souls!  And I believe He was.

It has been my experience with God that He has just the right way to bring about restoration.  All in perfection, as it was with every breath we took of the rain freshened air, each wild-flower seen, the lovely scent of the pines, the buzzing of the hummingbirds.

We were met by the director who showed us the way to our cabin.  It was perfect! 

We were so very tired from the long drive, having left Texas at 2 a.m., but we didn’t dare miss a moment of the peace this place had already brought us.

We immediately found a trail to hike and of all things it was named the Emmaus Trail.

For those unfamiliar with The Walk to Emmaus, it is a spiritual weekend Christians participate in to become closer to God.  Luke 24 is the scripture it is based on when the 2 were walking on the road to Emmaus and were met by Jesus who opened their eyes to all that is true and perfect in Him.  Rick and I have both participated in walks, as pilgrims (students) and workers.  With each walk we have joined, our hearts are “strangely warmed”, in every unimaginable way.  So to find this Emmaus Trail was indeed a spiritual moment for us both.

It was on this trail that we were reminded of how loud our lives had gotten.  The higher we climbed, the more apparent it became as God’s artistic expressions danced all around us.

Life demands loudness.  It is a necessary part as we go about the business demanded of us.  But it is also just as necessary to listen to the quietness that God offers us, to drink in the goodness of His graces that we are surrounded by.

As we descended from the trail and back into the camp, we joined others for supper.  It was there that we noticed it…that look upon each face…it was the Emmaus glow…The Holy Spirit was so strong that you could not help but to be overwhelmed by the sweetness, the closeness, the utter assurance that all was good.

It was that feeling that the loudness of life had captured and I needed, more than anything else, to experience it again.  It was a great gift!  This song, by Sherri Youngward,  captures perfectly, the feeling I had at that moment.   Thank you sweet Jesus for giving us your Spirit!

Restore My Soul  by Sherri Youngward

07 – Restore My Soul(1)  (click on link to hear her sing…you’ll be glad you did)

Lyrics…

Lead me beside
The water so still
Let me catch my breath
Let me drink my fill
Let me lie in fields of green
Where only gentle breezes blow
I’ll reach out my empty hands
For the cup that over flows

Restore my soul, Restore my soul,
Restore my soul, Restore my soul

I’ve stood too long here in these shadows
These valley walls are all I see
I need the skilled eyes of my Shepherd
Now my vision’s failing me

Restore my soul, Restore my soul,
Restore my soul, Restore my soul

Then I will run and not be weary
I will walk and not faint
I will soar with wings of eagles
In God alone is my strength

Restore my soul, Restore my soul,
Restore my soul, Restore my soul

Surely goodness and mercy
Will find their way
to me
And I will live with them forever
I will have no more need
The Lord is my Shepherd
He is my God
I will live with Him forever
I shall not want

May God’s blessings fill your life with quiet moments!

More vacation stories to come…thanks for reading…

Tracie

I have lived long enough to know without a doubt, for certain and for sure, that life changes. If life is too challenging at the moment, or could be that your life today is too boring, just wait a bit. That’s okay sometimes, especially when you are in the midst of a difficult time. But when life is good, it has the audacity to change anyway!

My mind has been on this subject of change for a while now. I suppose many factors have influenced it. There is the changing of the body as it ages. Most recently I have been in contact with my high school buddies, due to the influence of Facebook, and the realization of a 30-year reunion fast approaching. These guys have really changed! Is it that obvious on me too? We are in a season of quick changes, one we watch with some anticipation as the leaves of trees turn, die and fall to the ground. The changing of the hot temperatures to the cooler and the tilting of the earth that causes that change. Creation changes are unending! We just changed the time on our clocks and we are in the beginnings of change in the church’s liturgical calendar. Some of us may be experiencing changes in family situations, jobs, the economy, and the list continues. And at this very moment (of the time of writing), the news of the horrific killings at Ft.Hood, painfully remind us of how quickly life does and will continue to change.

Often times we will hear someone say, “Why can’t things just be different, “or “Why do things always have to change.” Changes can be so unsettling, sometimes causing fear or uncertainties. And in other times we welcome change with jubilation! Life cannot happen without change. It is inevitable.

So the question is not “why changes”, but how to; how to accept, how to handle, how to “weather gracefully”, how NOT to fear them, but instead embrace them.

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” by King Whitney Jr.

Where do you fit? Are you fearful, hopeful, confident? When you choose to tackle life on your own, that is without having developed and matured your faith in God, then changes will always be unsettling. But when God is the foundation in your life, nothing need be feared. You can approach life with confidence because God has assured you of this. (ref. Romans 8:14-17)

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Matthew 7:24-27

May you have a full life of changes to embrace!

God loves you immensely!
Tracie

This is an old writing of mine from the Spring of 2000. I was reminded of it yesterday when the birds began their beautiful morning ritual.  Creation is something we must take time to enjoy…

It is just before 6:00A.M. on a new morning, a morning set aside for praise of our glorious and sovereign Lord.

It is still dark as I sit out amongst the beauty of His creation, and I hear but only one bird begin the song. I marvel at its sweetness as it announces, with a melody, this new day.

Everything around me is so peaceful, so still, as if the elements of the earth are awaiting an event.

Then, I hear a second bird as if in response to the first. They speak for awhile, just the two of them, one with a tone of authority, the other seemingly submissive.

I look up into the skies noticing the dawn to appear, a picture so perfect, with colors so clear.

The birds, they are all now singing a chorus of great joy.

It’s a song of great praise to the one who has made the red colors arise out of the expanse of the sky.

Look! There he is! In the east of the heavens; thy Savior appears casting rays of light, showing all of God’s might.

I marvel at its excellence as it continues to rise, God placing His Son in the brilliance of the sky.

I remember now, the one lone bird instructing the other of what must happen for man to awaken.

Now, I see the Son in his place, he shines down on me with the warmth of His face.

It is now that I remember from whence he did come, he arose from earth’s darkness showing all of mankind it is Thine will that must be done.

Now, I know why God made the birds, it is to awaken each day to the glory he hath made.

By looking at the Christ we have our best opportunity to understand life, love, tragedy, and redemption.  RD

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
- Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, one of the greatest human minds at unlocking the mysteries of creation understood the power and beauty of that which is beyond our grasp of understanding.  Maybe it was the beauty of it that kept him thinking and dreaming about the unknown and the keys that unlock the doors of understanding, one at a time.

God is the greatest of all mysteries.  This is why faith is so difficult to understand for those without its comfort.  They cannot own it, or create it with their rules, it is Grace and this is one blessing we cannot control or enforce.  It must be accepted then set free to bless all others.  The minute we tie it down, it is dead, ceases to exist within the borders of our laws.  If we deny others are worthy then we have killed it within our breast.  For Grace comes from the very breath of God, and as Jesus said “we cannot tell which way it will blow.”  Nor is it for us to decide.  Thank God, otherwise we would all be damned by someone!  Seriously, thank God and enjoy the mysterious Grace given to us by our Lord, the Christ.

I am sitting out on a picnic bench surrounded by the Colorado Rockies.   The silence is surreal.  In the quietness, I can hear creation in all it’s glory.  The Rio Grande flows to my left, to the right a strange chirping.  As I look up to the mountain, I see a cross, standing powerfully alone.   This is a beautiful place.

We are on vacation.  We have been to Red River, New Mexico for a couple of days, and now are in Southfork, Colorado, at Goodnight’s Lonesome Dove RV and Cabin Park.  Our cabin is the “Pea Eye”.  At this moment Rick is hiking up the mountain with the camps dog, Rockie.  A great dog!

It feels wonderful to get away from the business of life.  The slow pace a vacation can allow is much needed and we are really good at enjoying it.  It’s October, so we have warm days and cold nights.  My kind of weather!  Neither one of us cares too much about activity.  We are simple that way.  We enjoy the beauty of creation in all its forms.  We did go into Taos, New Mexico a couple of days ago.  We enjoyed it, but after a dozen or so stores, they begin to all look the same.  Rick did find a hat.  I found some earrings and little bracelets for our girls.

Back at home, once again our lives have taken a big turn as Kristin and Kylie and Karlie moved in with us a few weeks ago.  The arrangement has been working out fine.  We are enjoying each one of them immensely.  Yes, we love the privacy afforded us when it was just the two of us.  But it seems God just keeps putting this little family on our doorstep.  We figure there is a reason, and we know they are being raised in a home full of love and affection.  So we will continue as we have been called to do; to minister to the hurting in whatever ways God chooses.

“Do you love me?, asks Jesus of Peter.  “Then feed my sheep.”  God gives many opportunities to us so that we may feed his sheep.  If we are too involved in the business of life, we may well miss those times.  I’m guilty of allowing myself to get too involved in work.  I am trying to be more aware of this and instead to take time out, to look around and to listen.  Vacation has reminded me of that.  Something else I am reminded of…I don’t have to come to the mountains to experience God’s great creation.  Some of His greatest creations can be found right in my home and I can’t wait to give them big hugs and kisses.

God Bless,
Tracie