Sunday morning (2nd day of vacation) we awoke to temps in the upper 50′s, surrounded by the Sacramento Mountains. Before breakfast was to be served, we decided on another hike and found the perfect place for worship!
Chapel In The Sky
The time we spent here at this place, with the cross before us, the mountains framing it…very special indeed! No words need to be spoken, no songs need to be sung for Rick and I were tuned with God in heart, mind and spirit. Listening to the quiet and beauty of His creation was the kind of worship God had asked for. We eagerly heard every ‘word’ God had to say that morning.
Being at the Methodist Camp for the start of our vacation was a God thing! It was the most perfect 24 hours to begin a new chapter in our lives. Taking the time out to listen to God’s direction is always a good idea!
We had been waiting a long time to turn a page in our lives. Seems we had been taking one step forward and 3 backwards for an eternity. Illness does that to a family, as many of you know. It is a hard thing for me to speak about, that I was once so weak and vulnerable; but I will do so in order to give others strength and hope.
Cinderella has always been my favorite fairy-tale of them all! What little girl wasn’t captivated by all the romance and beauty? I can still sing most of the songs today by memory, but there is one in particular that I have kept in my heart for about 16 years now. It goes like this…
A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you’re fast asleepIn dreams you lose your heartaches
whatever you wish for, you keepHave faith in your dreams and someday
your rainbow will come smiling throughNo matter how your heart is grieving
if you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
I’ll be the first one to say that, actually, the dream you wish doesn’t always come true. However…“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…” It is these words that I have held on to for these many years.
A single mom with 3 children, finds the love of her life, who then marries her and her 3 children…they are madly in love and plan a life together…that was my fairy tale come true. And then life happens. I became very ill with fibromyalgia. 2 back sugeries, neck surgery, severe depression, severe pain, in a wheelchair for much of the time x 2 years, walking canes, braces and financial ruin, doesn’t make for a good fairy tale. It was a very long 16 years. And that is the very short version.
Before illness occurred, I loved my career of nursing! My plans had always been to further my education to become a registered nurse and possibly beyond. It was devastating to me that all those dreams could vanish.
My greatest supporter was my husband who never gave up on me. When I gave up on hope…he gave more…so much so that in the times when he became weak, I was able to be strong for him. But even more than our love and strength and hope for and in each other was our faith that, no matter what, GOD.
As the years passed and slow healing times began, and vacations were again possible, it was always to Colorado we went.
Rick loves nature and especially so in the mountains. As he would ready himself for his hike, he would always tell me that one day I would go with him. I would smile, afraid to believe it, but always hoping.
“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”
And so now you understand a little bit of why this past vacation was such a huge event for us. It was truly a page turner in our life…actually more like a chapter or two or three!
I have been “training”, so to speak, for life again for about 2 years now. Once I got to a stage of strength again, and discovered some other healing “activities”, I knew it was time. I could do this now! I began with my diet and expanded into gaining physical strength and stamina.
It all has been very surreal, realizing that at one time, just to live through one day was a struggle, and now…I’m hiking mountains and asking, “what’s next?”
I can’t leave this post without trying to express what it meant to me to take that first hike with Rick. There really aren’t words enough to describe those emotions but well…
I felt like a little child experiencing the different kinds of grass, the beautiful wild flowers, the dirt, the bees and yes even the flies! Oh and the hummingbirds! They sound so different in the mountains! I was God’s child and He was showing me all that I had missed…it was like He had me by the hand, experiencing it all with me. I was afraid and yet I couldn’t stop, I had to keep climbing as high as I could go and then…can we go higher…further? And when the rain would fall and the thunder rolls through the mountains…oh my! It makes one tingle! My legs would get so tired but I was afraid to stop. I don’t ever want to go back to where I was; you understand? But if I do…
“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing…”
Keep the faith!
Tracie
P.S. For my fellow fibromyalgia sufferers, I will soon post about how I was able to overcome. Don’t give up hope!
