original post Sept. 3, 2007
Well, oops I did it again! I have a bad habit of letting time get by me before I write to my blog. Much has happened since my last writing too. I think mainly, I just didn’t feel like sharing.
Back in February, 2 of our grandgirls came to live with us. They went home this past weekend! We have beenMore… on a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. Everyday they were here, I would go to sleep thinking I couldn’t do another day; and each morning I would awaken to “just enough” strength and stamina to hold out. And I always managed to have a smile and encouraging ‘nana hug’ for they too were going through trauma. In fact, that is how we managed, not thinking about our own pain but thinking of theirs and how we could make it better for them. I believe we learned more about selfless love during this time than any other. And now that they have returned to their home, life is as it should be, with each of us in our places.
Having to let go was so very hard, they had become our life and we put all we had into it. I think more so than when we were raising our own children. Age, maturity, experience…there is much to be said about them; we felt the difference in our decision making. Second chances; I think we are given many of them and sometimes even 3rd and 4th chances. But i don’t think we always recognize them as such. And sometimes I think we have to make our own second chances, but whatever the case may be, we must do better when given another chance. I’ll never forget a time when I was a struggling young mother. I had asked my dad for financial help and was concerned of how I would ever repay him. He told me that I may not get to repay him, but one day I would get a chance to give back. He was so right! And I have so often had the opportunity to remember those words and say a little thank you to my dad. I reckon he smiles.
I hate the circumstances in which it occurred, but I love that I was given a second chance. I feel more complete now, having accomplished the need to give back, to contribute to a persons life, to contribute to society. It feels really good and I can’t help but believe our grandgirls will be better off for it.
And now what? Finally, after having been married for 16 years, we are childless! Empty nesters and proud of it! It’s barely been only a week, but we are settling nicely into the stillness around us. We will get back to the business of busyness and involve ourselves more completely into ministry, running a church. It’s different now though, as it should be when we travel through life’s roads. There are so many valleys to go through, but valleys aren’t all bad; I do happen to prefer the mountaintops though! You can’t reach the mountaintop until you’ve traveled through the valleys. And dare I say it but I’m sure there will be more valleys to travel through. I just pray we can stay on top of the mountain for a bit longer.
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