Be still!  Quit squirming!  I can’t concentrate!  I’m going to mess up if you don’t be still!  I can’t hear!  I can’t see!  Be quiet!

These are the words I heard over and over today.

Ahh, it’s summertime, kids are out of school and Nana is on full-time duty!  What to do with 2 little grand-girls all day long?  As would be expected, we swim a lot.  But in the hottest part of the day, the air conditioned indoors is the place to be!  On this particular afternoon, we decide on a movie and polishing the nails.

As I settle in the bed with a grand-girl on each side, “Ice Age” on play, it is not the voices of Sid, Diego and Buck I hear.  As I try to calmly and rationally quiet the girls from their little squirmishes, I am taken aback 40 years earlier as I lay next to my grandmother.  I could never be still enough for grandma.  “Be still, stop that, quit squirming!”

Fast forward to present tense, the movie is past and it is time to find another activity.  What little girl doesn’t enjoy getting her nails polished?  We have an entire routine that consists of picking just the right color/s, trimming, filing, painting and drying.  Today we have decided on a rainbow of colors!  How exciting!

And here we go again… “Be still. Quit squirming! I’m going to mess up if you don’t be still!”  And then it hit me as I heard myself repeating those same words said to me so many years before.  I think, no, I know God is speaking to me and His words are now, finally, loud and clear.  “Be still, quit squirming!”

One of my favorite Bible passages comes from the book of Mark when Jesus and the disciples get in the boat and a storm surges.  Waves crashing in upon them, the boat being tossed about like crazy yet Jesus is still as he sleeps peacefully amongst the chaos and impending doom.  The disciples are all in a tizzy, squirming about, worried, frightened.  Can you hear it?  All the noise?  Can you see it in your life?  I can in mine.  I know you are familiar with the crashing waves of life, the feeling of impending doom.  We won’t escape times of chaos.  We can escape the noise that always follows by keeping our eyes on Jesus.

Are you familiar with the song, “Be Still My Soul?”

Be still my soul – the Lord is on thy side;

bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

leave to thy God to order and provide;

in every change – he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul – thy best thy heavenly Friend

through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

I believe my story of a summer day at Nana’s can end here without further explanation.  But not without the words of one little girl who, after being still, nails shining all a new with fresh polish, exclaims excitingly, “WOW!  Awesome Nana!

“Be still and know that I am God”  Psalm 46:10

“WOW!  Awesome God!”

Be Still, My Soul

When I began this Lenten Journey I offered a prayer given by Henry Nouwen.  In it he states, “I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me.  The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.  I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions.  There are no times or places without choices.  And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.”

I have been keenly aware of these words, keeping them at the forefront of my mind as I encounter the world on a daily basis.  Sometimes that world can be very hateful, spewing unnecessary demeaning words, taking actions meant on division and destruction.   We are such a divided people, in religious attitudes, political views, and so many other ways.  I tolerate political hatred and division but I don’t like it.  I feel I have no other choice but to tolerate, else I would spew my own anger which would not help matters.  But when it comes to the matters of Christian attitudes and actions, I cannot simply tolerate for to me it is my very life, my existence in every meaning of the word.  To choose words that are His words, thoughts that are His thoughts and actions that are His actions, requires of me, a dedicated prayer life.  I am not always successful.

These past weeks have been a struggle for me as I have encountered a heavier dose of adversity and I find my desire to choose “thoughts that are His thoughts” quite the challenge.  I have found my actions and words easier to control.  But I do not like that my thoughts have “a mind of their own”.

Through prayer I have been getting a sense of the direction I should be going.  Stepping over resentment is oh so difficult and is my greatest struggle at this time.  But if I am to continue on this journey, to continue to grow toward sanctification and to obey Christ, to be like Him, I must defeat this foe.

As Christ was enduring the mocking, the beatings, the long walk to Golgotha with the added burden of the weighted cross, (until lifted by Simon) what were His thoughts?  We know He humbled Himself; He did not strike back with words or actions.  What were His thoughts?   Very few words are spoken by Jesus as He hung in unimaginable pain; these are the most powerful, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”  (Luke 23:34 NLT)

Forgiveness, then, is the answer?  Forgiveness even when the offender doesn’t seek it?  That would be Christ’s model.

Today I read from my devotional book these words from Henry Nouwen.  “God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking.  It is the divine forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life.  It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy, and impractical.  It challenges me to step over all my needs for gratitude and compliments.  Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive.    This stepping over is the authentic discipline of forgiveness.”

When I have asked God to allow me to lead a Christ-like life, I expect the hard road.  Christ’s actions and words were not that of society, his thoughts were not his own, but those of His father.  If my heart is true in its desire then I will take the hard road and I will do so on my knees no matter how wounded they become.

God loves you!

I’ve been distracted with life therefore have neglected my blog duties!  So just to catch you up, I have 5 beautiful grand-girls since my last entry and they are each awesome!  I have recently started a blog just for them called Nana’s Scrapbook.  I’ve just started it, so it has a lot of work to go.

Thought I would go back and post some of my writings from the past few months.  Then maybe i can keep blogging more regularly again.  We’ll see!  I hope so because I do enjoy it!

I awake this morning, once again, to snow falling from the sky.  It has been an unusual wet, cold winter for us, or maybe not.  Maybe it has been more of a normal season and the previous dryer, warmer ones were the seasons in conflict.  Regardless, I know the world I live in is a confliction to the One who suffered and died for it.

At the Ash Wednesday service I made a promise to God to step out of my comfort zone.  In doing so I hope to defeat some of my fears and in the process to find gifts I have yet to discover.  I believe God makes opportunities for us to use those gifts He has given, but for abundant reasons we take a pass.  My promise was made Wednesday, on Thursday I got my first opportunity.  The church was in need of someone to do the children’s time Sunday morning.  I didn’t give myself time to think about it, I merely reacted with a yes expecting the dread to come after I was already committed.  But this time, the dread never came, as would be the customary.  I felt a calming peace, a joy of having this opportunity.  I knew God had responded to me with a blessing that was much greater than my fear.

Henri Nouwen once described Lent as the season during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance.  In my experience, spring eventually wins the struggle and the beauty created by it is magnificent! The new cycle of life begins once again bringing a feeling of warmth and hope comes alive!

I believe this ‘stepping out of my comfort zone’ will defeat much in me that has kept me from becoming the sanctified child my Lord expects.

Lord thank you for opportunities that bring me ever closer to you.

As I begin my journey through the Lenten season, I awake this morning knowing immediately what it is I must do. Prayer, oh yes but I wanted something to set my mind in focus. When normally I would reach for my Bible, today, I was looking for a different guide. I stooped to look under the bed where I knew I would find one of Rick’s many devotional books. One in particular caught my eye and it just happens to be exactly what I was looking for (unbeknown to me at that moment). It is titled, ‘Eternal Seasons; A Spiritual Journey through the Church’s Year’ by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I offer this prayer as it is tugging at me hard.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Today the Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.

I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, human respect, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.

I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are no times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.

Please Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life which you have prepared for me.

I offer this in your name, Amen.

I had a fantastic time this past weekend at the annual Clergy Spouses Retreat at Lake Texoma.  The Prothro Center is fabulous!  Our speaker on Saturday was the Reverend Cammy Gaston.  We all thoroughly enjoyed her and the message she brought to us.  I wanted to share with you part of an exercise she had us do.  Her message came from 1Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Reverend Gaston gave us each a piece of paper with this verse printed, but left blank spots where we had to insert our own names into each blank, then we had to read them aloud to a partner.  So it goes like this…

_________ is patient, ______is kind.  ______is not jealous ______is not boastful ______is not proud ______is not rude.  ______does not demand her/his own way.  ______ is not irritable. ______keeps no record of being wronged. ______does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  ______never gives up, ______never loses faith, ______is always hopeful and ______endures through every circumstance.

My first thought when asked to do this exercise was that I couldn’t pen my name in the blanks because it didn’t feel honest to do so and secondly, when asked to read it to my partner, well, it hurt deep inside. We each had to do some soul searching.  I encourage you to do this exercise and you might even consider keeping it handy to look at often as I have been doing since my return home.

As we strive to grow to become Christ like in our actions, thoughts, in our lives in general, I do believe our greatest stumbling block would be that of loving as Christ did love.  Love is the single greatest expression of Christ, the mark of a true follower of Jesus; love “binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Col 3:14) Love is the principal ethical manifestation of Christian faith, the primary fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22) and one of the most important motivations for ministry.  The most important thing for believers to value and seek is to become a faithfully loving person.

It is not in my nature to be hateful; I don’t carry grudges, or wish any wrong upon a person.  I am a very forgiving person, knowing that I need forgiveness also.  I generally find that relationships are easy for me, I like people, they like me.  That makes love easy, so to speak.  But don’t you know it, that there will be that one person that comes around every so often and is determined to make love hard.  It is then that I find myself clinging mightily to Christ.  Not such a bad thing, huh?  Maybe we need those nemeses in our lives to make us stronger, to force us to cling more mightily to the cloaks of the Lord.

It’s all about choices, isn’t it?  We can choose to be patient, choose to be kind, choose not to be jealous, choose not to be boastful, choose not to be proud, choose not to be rude, choose not to demand our own way, choose not to be irritable, choose not to keep record of being wronged, choose not to rejoice about injustice, choose to never give up, never lose faith, always remain hopeful and choose to endure through every circumstance.

I pray for “attitudes of choice”.  May we cling mightily to His cloak, gathering comfort from His love, from our fellowship together in His Spirit.  May our hearts be tender and compassionate, working together with one mind and purpose.  May we not be selfish, be humble and look for the interests of another.  May we have the same attitude as Christ Jesus had.

“Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.  Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.  When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.  Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. “ (Phil.2:6-11)

Amen.

January is named after Janus (Ianuarius), the god of the doorway; the name has its beginnings in Roman mythology, coming from the Latin word for door (ianua) – January is the door to the year. In Roman mythology, Janus (or Ianus; “archway”) was the god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings and endings. His most prominent remnant in modern culture is his namesake, the month of January, which begins the new year. He is most often depicted as having two faces or heads, facing in opposite directions. (thanks to wikipedia)

January, the time to open new doors and perhaps close old ones.  There are many facets to our lives in which to apply this “rule”, but none is as important as the doors of your spiritual life.

I know many of us make some kind of attempt at New Year resolutions in January.  I stopped doing that a few years back when I figured out that it never worked for me.  I never could change myself, myself.  My attempt at closing doors to the past just never quite worked out, they kept swinging back open.  Couldn’t really say when it was that I finally figured it out, but I do know how…prayer…intentional prayer.  Of course it took a whole lot of journeying to even get to the point of realizing that Jesus is THE ONE that would change me and that I could reach Jesus through prayer.  So if I may just say then that if it is spiritual change you are looking for, then it is Jesus you must seek.  Jesus IS THE WAY, Jesus IS THE TRUTH and Jesus IS THE LIFE.  This journey I speak of only happens when you are intentional about the change you seek.  Be intentional in meeting Jesus face to face and do it now.   No more putting off what should have already been done, I promise you will not regret.

There are many places you can meet Jesus face-to-face, places we never expect, places we do expect.  If you’ve been to the places you expect to meet Jesus and have found disappointment, then maybe you need to look a bit deeper.  It is easy to look at the surface but the shine wears off of the surface pretty fast.  Let me speak frank here.  I’ve been there when Jesus was a part of my vocabulary and somewhat a part of my life.  I might attend church when I felt like it, kept thinking one of those times that preacher just might say something that “moves” me (or maybe the music) and then I’ll be in.  Just waiting on that ole preacher to inspire me.  Well I kept going in and out those church doors, never seeing Jesus face to face.  At some point I decided to get intentional about my spiritual life and realized that it was what I failed to give that kept me swinging those doors.

Bible Study must be intentional.  One cannot know Jesus, cannot develop that relationship with Jesus until one has decided to become intentional in learning who He is, what He has to offer and what He expects of you.

It’s time to quit swinging the doors.  Wednesday Bible Study this year will be a variety of topics and scripture.  Most will be what you have asked to study.  Make this the year you meet Jesus face to face.

The first scripture we will study is John 14:6. “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

January 13 at 6:30p-8:00p.  You do not need to sign up.  Just come.  No commitments to every Wednesday, just come when you can, bring your Bible and expect to meet Jesus face to face.

I have lived long enough to know without a doubt, for certain and for sure, that life changes. If life is too challenging at the moment, or could be that your life today is too boring, just wait a bit. That’s okay sometimes, especially when you are in the midst of a difficult time. But when life is good, it has the audacity to change anyway!

My mind has been on this subject of change for a while now. I suppose many factors have influenced it. There is the changing of the body as it ages. Most recently I have been in contact with my high school buddies, due to the influence of Facebook, and the realization of a 30-year reunion fast approaching. These guys have really changed! Is it that obvious on me too? We are in a season of quick changes, one we watch with some anticipation as the leaves of trees turn, die and fall to the ground. The changing of the hot temperatures to the cooler and the tilting of the earth that causes that change. Creation changes are unending! We just changed the time on our clocks and we are in the beginnings of change in the church’s liturgical calendar. Some of us may be experiencing changes in family situations, jobs, the economy, and the list continues. And at this very moment (of the time of writing), the news of the horrific killings at Ft.Hood, painfully remind us of how quickly life does and will continue to change.

Often times we will hear someone say, “Why can’t things just be different, “or “Why do things always have to change.” Changes can be so unsettling, sometimes causing fear or uncertainties. And in other times we welcome change with jubilation! Life cannot happen without change. It is inevitable.

So the question is not “why changes”, but how to; how to accept, how to handle, how to “weather gracefully”, how NOT to fear them, but instead embrace them.

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” by King Whitney Jr.

Where do you fit? Are you fearful, hopeful, confident? When you choose to tackle life on your own, that is without having developed and matured your faith in God, then changes will always be unsettling. But when God is the foundation in your life, nothing need be feared. You can approach life with confidence because God has assured you of this. (ref. Romans 8:14-17)

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Matthew 7:24-27

May you have a full life of changes to embrace!

God loves you immensely!
Tracie

You’ve probably heard of the saying, “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can hear twice as much as we say”. (Source unknown) So my question is, how did we mess that one up?

The Wednesday Bible Study group was introduced last Wed. evening to the material we will be studying,”The Way of Prayer”. It included an exercise titled, “Holy Listening”. Basically, we were to be aware of our listening inabilities and jot down when we wandered off into other thoughts, or wanted to interrupt for one reason or another, when we wanted to “help” the person, give comfort, etc. There were times of silence as each were either prompted to speak or not. I must say, we all did very well. But then, we were aware of our need to listen, the challenge to only listen and the consensus was that it was not an easy task to keep our mouths shut. But an amazing thing happened. We felt the presence of God in those moments of silence and listening. And He knew, as He always does, our needs, our soul?s deepest desires. The soul was seeking the very comfort that is ever before us. We were in prayer in our sharing and listening to one another. This was our beginning of learning prayer with the whole of our being.

Kids really do say the darnest things, don’t they? A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, Kylie asked me why God made us. As quick as my fear of saying the wrong thing rose, it also subsided as I spat the words out, “Because He has so much love to give, He needed someone to give it to.” Her immediate response was, “God needs us to love Him too, right Nana?” During that conversation, I was in prayer with my whole being. And now as I think back I realize that my whole life can be a prayer to God. I think of the times when my joy is completely full with little girls running around; Kylie, Karlie, Kenslee, Rhilyn and Addison. I am so full of love that I must be in prayer, a prayer that needs no words merely the love pouring from my soul. It is the same when I sit in silence with Rick in the same room, he doing his thing, me doing mine, but being together…in silent relationship. My soul is so full of peace, love and joy that I can think of nothing other than how thankful I am to my Lord who has given me everything.

The presence of God is ever before us, we are just too loud to hear him, feel him, sense him. We have cluttered our lives so that we are unable to respond to his love. The sadder part of this is that we are teaching our children to do the same. How to stop it? How do we reverse it? I have but one answer, and it is not mine at all, but is from the Creator of our soul. “Be still and know that I am God…”
Psalm 46:10

God loves you immensely!

It was in my pre-teen years when I was certain that Jesus is Lord, that He loved me and I He. I remember going to the track field where my dad sat in the stands awaiting my run at the hurdles. (I was a great hurdle runner.) My desire to live a Christ like life was heavy on my heart, but I needed to talk to dad to get his permission to be baptized. I believed. After some conversation, he, of course, gave his consent.
The fact that I am a very blessed person stays at the forefront of my mind. My siblings and I were fortunate to of been born into a family that loved God. I went to church with mom, dad, sisters, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers. We learned about God and Christ, were active in Sunday school, went on mission trips and never missed when the doors of the church were open for worship. We were also active in our schools, sports, choir, orchestra and band. I was the track star, always had first or second chair as a cellist and sang alto in the school choir. 4 siblings all very active in their school, all made good grades, grew up across the street from Cunningham elementary in a modest 3-bedroom home with fruit trees in the backyard and best friends on the same street. We all believed in Christ and we all do to this day.

Today, I marvel at how blessed a childhood we had. My parents had faith.
From my high school years to my late 20′s I made bad choices. Still, I believed, and I was blessed with a Lord who would not give up on me and parents who loved me. I made it through those tumultuous years and through a series of various incidents I finally made my way to group study of the Word. Since that day I have not stopped and as a result my faith has grown. I have no words to explain the depth of feeling I have for the blessings received when faith growing became a priority in my life.
To believe in something is to accept as true. In this case, that Jesus is the son of God, that he lived and died for you and me. Faith is to have allegiance to duty or person, sincerity of intentions; complete trust and loyalty; a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. We, as humans, believe in many things. Faith, however, is a different story, especially our level of faith.
Jesus spoke much about faith and in particular the amount of faith a person had/has. If you will look just in the book of Matthew for starters you will find Jesus performing miracles according to the amount of faith.

Matthew 9:29 …”according to your faith will it be done to you”
Matthew 13:58 “and he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”
Matthew 14:31 “you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Matthew 15:28 “…woman you have great faith! Your request is granted.”
Matthew 17:19-21 “Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” He replied, “Because you have so little faith…”

Let us not be too harsh on these people who had so little faith, after all they were just beginning to learn about Jesus, the Word made flesh. Faith is for growing. We do not develop faith without first believing and second, putting forth time and effort. (Lying in bed on Sunday morning does not grow faith)
I believe that each one of us desires to grow in faith. I believe the only path to that growth is through the study of the Word, the Word made flesh.
How is your faith growing? Is your faith growing? Let us each do a”faith check? and then when we come to the realization that our faith is lacking, decide to do something about it.
Are you ready to begin the awesome journey of faith growing? Take a chance on the mustard seed and see what the Word can do with your faith.
Sunday morning classes are a good place to start, as well as Wednesday evening Bible study.
See you in church!

God loves you immensely!

Tracie